Wizard Sugar
by QueenStrata
Summary: When two certain wizards get on sugar highs, the Dursleys have a tad bit of trouble....
1. Wizard Sugar: Part One

A/N: Here's to randomness, and boredom in school. Nothing much to say, but enjoy, so, well, ENJOY!

Warnings: a bit of language, and, of course, my beloved slash…

Disclaimer: Don't own them, but I wished I did. But, really, doesn't everyone?

_Wizard Sugar_

Harry was bored. And, at this particular moment, that boredom was _not_ a good thing.

Of course, he _had_ been bored the entire summer. Unfortunately for him, he had also gotten into the sugar that morning. As any person with a brain knows, giving sugar to anyone is a bad thing. And unfortunately for the Dursleys, a sugar-high wizard is even worse than a sugar-high Muggle, in that various inanimate objects will begin telling all in their vicinity exactly what Harry was thinking.  The first clue to Harry's sugar-high was when the bacon started complaining about how much the Dursleys ate, something that Harry didn't notice despite the fact that he was cooking them. However, by the time breakfast was over and the glasses had finished a heart-warming rendition of "I'm a Little Teapot," the Dursleys decided that they'd had enough. As such, Vernon threatened Harry to have everything returned back to normal by the time they got back, or he'd regret the day he was born.

Harry had merely replied by nodding vigorously, a huge grin on his face. Needless to say, the Dursleys had left as fast as their legs could carry them out to their car.

So now the sugar-high Boy-Who-Lived had nothing to do. As such, he eventually lowered himself to wearing his Hogwarts robes and mocking various professors. He was halfway through Professor Snape lecturing Dudley's old stuffed animals when the doorbell rang.

He paused mid-tirade, threatened a one-eyed bear with a detention if his non-existent potion wasn't pink by the time he got back, skipped over to the door, and flung it open.

Even in his hyper state, Harry had enough sense to be shocked as hell when he realized that it was Draco Malfoy standing on his doorstep in a trench coat.

"Er…. What're you doing here, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"I got on a sugar high," Draco replied easily with a shrug and a grin, "so they kicked me out. Thought I'd come annoy you."

It was at that point that the front door decided to point out exactly how good Draco looked in his trench coat and wondered whether or not Draco had anything on under it. Rather predictably, Harry blushed.

"I'm flattered, Potter," Draco drawled with an eyebrow raised.

Harry blinked stupidly.

"Shut up and get in, Malfoy," Harry replied at length, grabbing hold of the front of Draco's coat and tugging hard so that Draco flew into Harry and knocked the two of them over.

"Ow…" moaned Harry.

Draco pushed himself up off Harry and absently pushed the door closed. Harry stood up after him, and they both stared at each other for nearly five minutes before Harry decided to talk.

"Would you like a drink?" Harry asked absently, as if he was quite used to having Draco Malfoy in his house.

Draco shrugged. Harry took that as a yes (according to the coat rack) and walked toward the kitchen, Draco following him like a puppy, taking his coat off along the way. As Harry got the drinks, Draco absentmindedly started unbuttoning his shirt with every intention of buttoning it back up (though the table was under the illusion that Draco was doing it in order to seduce his rival). He never got around to that second part, however, as Harry turned around with two glasses of Mountain Dew(TM? R? C? Well, whatever's supposed to go in the little circle thing next to it). Draco quickly grabbed a glass and drank half of it before Harry even registered what he was wearing.

"Leather, Malfoy?" he asked blankly as his ice shouted out something on Draco's unbearable hotness.

"Yes, Potter, leather. Problem?" Draco replied evenly as if he hadn't heard what Harry's ice had said, but Draco's ice was cheering happily.

Harry drank some of his soda, "Nope. Love it."

Draco grinned, looked Harry up and down, and then decided it was _his_ turn to say something stupid.

"What are you wearing under those robes, Potter?"

Harry stared at him for a moment, took another sip of his drink, and then put it down before saying, "Nothing."

Draco stared at Harry. Harry stared back. Naturally, a staring contest ensued. It lasted for a full five minutes, until both of them blinked at once.

"So, Malfoy, care to do anything?" Harry's glasses added something about a bed.

"Like what?" One of Draco's buttons continued with something about a bed as well.

"Uh…strip poker?" Everything was strangely silent.

"We haven't really got much to strip, have we?" Still silent.

"Good point. …Um…we could… I have no idea." Silence continued to reign.

"Neither do I." More silence.

"Eh… let's go watch a movie." Okay, you've gotten the idea.

"A what?"

"A _movie_. Honestly, Malfoy, take Muggle Studies, would you?"

"What for? As long as I'm here, I'll just ask you everything."

"Annoying git."

"I try my best."

"I'd noticed. Hmm…"

Harry began flipping through the movies the Dursleys owned, absently passing by the entire collection of Disney movies before settling on something called _Gremlins_, if only because he was sick of looking through the movies.

The two then dropped unceremoniously on to the couch, sitting comfortably right next to each other. Draco leaned back and put his arms on the back of the couch, and Harry leaned against the back, his arms crossed.

By the time the movie was halfway through, the cuteness of Gizmo had worn off, and the two were in desperate need of something else to do.

"This place is boring," Draco grumbled after taking a sip of his fifth glass of overly hyper-inducing beverage.

Harry nodded his reply, and then slumped over to lean against Draco.

Draco glanced down at the dark-haired boy playing with the buttons of his silver shirt, and a light bulb flashed above his head. Literally.

"I have and idea!" he said brightly, and then paused. "Wait. Are you gay?"

Harry blinked warily up at Draco. "I don't know."

"Oh. Well. All right."

There was a short pause.

"What was your idea?"

"Oh, yeah, that. I really hope you don't mind, but—" Draco shrugged and grinned down at the thoroughly confused Boy-Who-Liked-Buttons.

Said boy was staring up at Draco as if the hyper blond had lost what little sense he had. Of course, Harry _was_ probably right, seeing as sugar and caffeine tended to addle a person's brain a bit.

"Oh, for the love of—Potter, you are such an idiot!" Draco exclaimed, and then promptly pulled Harry's face up to his and shoved his tongue in Harry's mouth.

A few minutes later, he pulled away. For a minute, he and Harry stared at each other before Harry, breathing rather heavily, said "Oh."

Draco slumped back against the couch with a disbelieving groan and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed. He was so distracted by how dense Harry was that he nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand laid itself flat on his almost-bare chest (owing to the fact that he had yet to button his shirt back up).

"Yipe!" he (honestly) yelped, narrowly missing smacking Harry in the face as he dropped his hand down. Harry didn't even flinch, instead moving closer to Draco, grinning like the idiot he was.

"You know something, Malfoy?" Harry chirped as he slid his hand up Draco's chest to rest on the back of his neck, "I don't mind."

And Harry lowered his lips on Draco's, renewing the kiss.

Draco's only semblance of a reply was to slide his hands under Harry's robes and around to his back. He responded to Harry enthusiastically, pulling Harry as close to himself as possible.

When they pulled apart a few minutes later, Harry's face twisted back into its idiotic grin, and Draco's eyes were sparkling happily.

"That was fun," Harry stated.

"I know something even _more_ fun," Draco grinned back.

"Not on the Dursleys' couch, you don't," Harry replied easily, pulling away from Draco and beckoning for Draco to follow him.

Draco eagerly followed Harry. When Harry stopped outside a door and warned Draco not to laugh he was extremely confused, but he nodded his head anyway. However, when he saw the room he was guided into, he almost regretted nodding. But when Harry lay on his back on the bed, all thoughts of laughter were dispelled from his mind. He bounced to the bed and leaned himself over Harry.

"So, what is this thing that's even _more_ fun?" Harry asked innocently.

Draco replied with another grin as he lowered his lips back to Harry's, tugging impatiently at the robes.

I think you know what they did for the rest of the night.

A/N: There you are. Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter, which will naturally be the only other chapter. Hope you enjoyed this first one of complete and udder randomness. I have no idea where it came from. ^^ Anyway, enjoy.


	2. Wizard Sugar: Part Two

A/N: Wow, I'm surprised people like this! I thought it was pretty stupid, myself. But I can't deprive you people of the second chapter, now, can I? Well, here goes nothing! And look at my imaginative title! ::rolls eyes::

Warnings: um…don't think there's anything, actually…but it's short

Disclaimer: Don't own them.

Wizard Sugar: Part Two 

It wasn't until eleven o'clock that night that the Dursleys had the guts to return to their house.

They entered through the front door and breathed a collective sigh of relief as nothing said anything to them. However, when they turned on the lights, they were surprised at what they found.

On one of the end tables sat two half-filled glasses of Mountain Dew, one of which was dangerously close to the edge. The television showed a bright blue screen that signified that someone had been watching a movie. Petunia quickly took it out, and nearly screamed because she absolutely hated the movie that was in it. _Gremlins_ was quickly dropped to the floor as Vernon came over to comfort her.

When Petunia was as calmed down as she could get (though she was still muttering something about evil, furry, talking guinea pigs, though nobody could figure out exactly why), they walked into the kitchen.

The empty bottle of soda was on its side on the table, the top of it over the edge, and a tiny bit of soda dripping out of it. An expensive-looking black trench coat was draped over the back of a chair.

They immediately felt furious at the way their freak of a nephew left his mess all over the place and began storming up the stairs, too stupid to wonder exactly why he'd have an expensive coat when they never gave him money or bought him anything.

Halfway up them, Dudley nearly tripped over a couple of his stuffed animals, but Petunia somehow managed to save him from falling. Vernon's face was now that splotchy purple color that Harry often made it turn.

When they finally made it to the bedroom door (after stepping on the broken pieces of a few cheap vases and straightening every single picture of Dudley that was on the wall which they didn't know Harry and Draco had knocked crooked in their haste to get up the stairs), Vernon threw the door open. It hit the wall with a loud bang and bounced back off, closing on Vernon's face and closing part of his mustache in the door. He howled in pain.

Meanwhile, in the bedroom Vernon was ineffectively trying to open, two teenage boys, now unfortunately off their sugar highs, sat on Harry's bed, laughing their naked little arses off. Not that anyone would know that they were naked, because the blankets were pulled up right over that particular area, reaching up to their waists. (But for the sake of the fic, we'll say they were naked.)

A couple minutes later, the door was finally reopened. Vernon stood in the doorway for a moment rubbing where his mustache connected to his face before he realized that his nephew wasn't actually the only person in there.

He and the rest of the family stared at the gorgeous form of one happily giggling blond (well, obviously) Draco Malfoy, whose hair had been completely messed up during his and Harry's little activities from that night.

"Hiya, Uncle Vernon!" Harry finally choked out between his laughter. Then he realized how his pathetic excuse for a family was staring at his former rival and wrapped his arms around said rival's waist possessively.

"What in hell is going on here?" Vernon bellowed after staring for about five minutes. Harry and Draco, who had managed to get control of themselves before, starting giggling hysterically again.

After a couple more minutes of giggling, the two regained control of themselves and Draco smiled charmingly at the three people that he considered the most disgusting Muggles he'd ever seen in his life.

Dudley melted into a disgusting pile on the floor, and Harry's grip on Draco tightened.

"All right, Harry, all right!" Draco exclaimed suddenly. "I think they get the idea that I'm yours, you don't have to strangle me!"

"Oops, sorry," Harry muttered apologetically, and kissed Draco on the cheek.

"I hope you don't mind that I seduced your nephew while the both of us were on sugar highs," Draco drawled out to the Dursleys. "But I'd really appreciate it if you'd left us alone. We need our beauty rest."

The Dursleys nodded stupidly and left the room, too awed by Draco's unnatural beauty to argue.

When the door had closed behind them, Harry and Draco lay back down to go to sleep, yawning widely.

"That was fun," Harry murmured sleepily. "We should do that more fun."

"The shagging or the sugar high?" Draco asked in reply.

"Both," Harry chuckled.

Draco laughed slightly and moved his head just enough so that he could kiss Harry, proud that his plan had worked.

A/N: There we are, the end of Wizard Sugar! Wasn't that fun? ^-^ Sorry it's so short, that's what I get for writing it off the top of my head right after I wake up on a Sunday morning. ^^; I should really stop doing that.

Thanks to:

Dark Peppermint Darragh Tieraneux 

**Shades**-I know Gizmo never stops being cute! But attention spans grow short on sugar highs.

Aunt-rhiannon 

**Fancy**


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